After some days of city-living, and bumming around on the estates of zombies, Freddy and Stan were ready for some good clean country air.

They therefore set there sights to an agriturismo, or a farmstay. The farm they’d be staying on was an olive grove.

The owner greeted them warmly, and gave them a taste of the olive oil grown there.Timidly, Freddy asked if any of the local wineries might give a tour – perhaps the owner could call the one next door? He did, and they might not – it seems that many wine sellers were at a big wine event on mainland Italy. No wonder he had been rebuffed at so many wineries!

Moreover, it seemed there was no lunch to be served at the agriturismo – only dinner! Luckily, a gas station was nearby and, as it happens, gas stations in Sicily have damn good food.

Determined to get drunk like no one was watching, Freddy called other local wineries until he found one that could give a tasting that day. What luck! And so Freddy and Stan biked off to see what was in store.

What was in store was a big bus of loud, uncultured American tourists AND a tasting of exquisite Sicilian wine, with some of the best home-grown food to be had on the island, is all!

Bellies full of food and booze, Freddy and Stan biked back to the olive grove they called home to await their dinner. It was, once more, a great affair. Good times were had by all, though once again Freddy proved to have the greater appetite of the two. Grinning mischievously at Stan’s unfinished meat course, he explained to the owner, in immaculate Italian, “I at all. He did not eat all. He is not a man,” at which the owner to guffaw in delight.

…

Rested and energized, Freddie and Stan set out to begin their tour of southeastern Sicily. Many cities in this part of the island had been destroyed by an earthquake some few hundred years ago and rebuilt in baroque style. These cities were sometimes called the prettiest in Sicily.

Freddie’s appetite for wine, though, had been wetted, and they needs must have more. Another winery was on the way – this one the biggest of them all! Inside the imposing steel gate was a woman with a heart of gold. She spoke no English, and was gushingly grateful that Freddy spoke elegant Italian. She and the other winers gladly showed to Freddy and Stan the great stainless operation that produced liquid grapey gold, and gave a tasting with food, once again. At the tasting the mom and pop of the winery showed up, beaming with pride that their product was good enough for vagabond Americans.

While Freddy and Stan ate, the sky began to glower gray. Pitt-patt, pitt-patt, fell the rain, soon turning into thunderous PATT-PATT-PATT-PATT as the wind whipped droplets into the tasting room picture window. “The bikes!” shouted Freddy, bravely running out into the storm to grab the bicycles and wrangle them under the garage cover.

Freddie and Stan, sated, tightened their belts, puffed their chests and declared themselves ready to brave the storm to Ragusa. At this, the chief winer lady came down then, under the cover of the garage, and began to explain the unloading and loading process for the grapes – clearly hoping to delay them while the storm passed. She succeeded, and Freddie and Stan set off under the still-glowering but no-longer-weeping sky, as dry as a living bone.